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Latest page update: made by thindragon
, Aug 3 2009, 4:36 PM EDT
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| Started By | Thread Subject | Replies | Last Post | ||
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| Seeking_Perfection | Hardest Decision... | 6 | Today, 2:11 PM EST by gemana | ||
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Thread started: Oct 25 2009, 1:36 PM EDT
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Well, It's comlicated. I hope you can keep up, I'll try and explain my situation as best I can...
My Gran and Grandpop live in Spain, I got a phone call last week from my grandpop asking me if I could promise him something. I agreed and he simply said 'Get better, be happy, live your life and make me prouder than I am now. I Love you, So much.' These words have stuck in my head. I have a terrible feeling he is really ill, its in his nature not to tell someone if he was... dying. I love him so much, and he is so special to me, he is such a compassionate man, and he would do literally anything to help me with anything.The more I think about it, I want him to be happy while he's still here. But the thing is.... I think I want to get better. Temporarily. Just so he can see me happy again, to make him proud again. But I cant imagine life without ana. I found an email address on AB last week and he claimed to be able to 'help us.' I added him to see what he could say, and he told me if I wasnt doing it for myself I wouldnt get better, I would just be postponing Ana, and I dont know if you CAN postpone ana....But I definately dont want her to leave me permanently... yet. I need her. But I love my grandpop too. It so confusing, and such a complicated situation. Im faced with the decision of choosing My family or ana, which is a decision I face every day of my life, just not as prominant as this, every time I choose ana,which is why i still have an ED, but now... I dont know. My grandpop is the ONLY person who has been there for me through thick and thin... I love him so much... The reason I suppose I am writing this is because... Well I need to know, what would you guys do, in honest opinions here please. This is playing with my sanity at the moment!! I took parts of this from a conversation I had with someone. Just so I didnt have to re-type the whole thing. I hope they don't mind. |
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| BlueHourGirl | Supplements: What I take. What do you take? | 11 | Today, 4:48 AM EST by tiny_ballerina | ||
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Thread started: Sep 30 2009, 12:31 PM EDT
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Hi Everyone,
I just finished reading posts about Apple Cider Vinegar, diet pills etc. I thought I might let you all know what I do, that is...if your are interested. ;-) I would also really like to know what everyone else takes or how they feel about supplements. I should mention I am in the US so some of you may not have heard of these. I am drinking an Apple Cider Vinegar supplement, 1 ounce a day. Not hard to take at all. I have always heard consistently good things about ACV. I get it from here: www.yodersgoodhealthrecipe.com. Read the "Herbs & Vinegar" part. I take Metabolife and CitriMax. Each are 2 capsules a day, 3 times a day. For me, they are just an appettite suppressant and slight energy booster. The truth is I bought the bottles and now I just want to finish them. They are not one of my must-have supplements. I drink Monavie, 2 ounces a day. It's an Acai berry drink but has lots of other stuff in it (fruits/vegetables) because I am obviously not eating those things. It's a good way to keep your health up so you can keep going and no one knows whats going on. Lastly, I take various energy supplements made by the company VPX. Redline, Meltdown, or Liquid Clenbutrx. Right now, I take the Liquid Clenbutrx. It tastes vile but its the best appettite suppressant and enegy booster I have ever encountered. I never combine them! It's one at a time or nothing at all. They are very strong. I am to the point where your average energy drink/pills don't work for me. I don't work for these people, I don't want to sound like a commercial but they really do make strong stuff. My husband and I used to joke that we thought they were slipping Cocaine it. If you take it of your own risk, follow the directions: start with the minimum!! My diet is built around strict carb restriction. XOXO
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| BlueHourGirl | the hint of a collar bone.... | 3 | Thursday, 11:57 PM EST by xxstiickthiinxx | ||
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Thread started: Oct 7 2009, 10:00 PM EDT
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Every day is such hard work, it's been almost two weeks now. But then I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and hate the reflection. In my mind, its not happening fast enough. I want to be further along, I need to be further along. My reflection.....me.....is utterly deformed. Rolls and dimples when I long for skin and bones. A hint of a collar bone, a shadow of a jaw line, a glimmer of beauty. Food is a drug to me like cocaine is to someone else. This has to be my way now...no middle of the road...this is how I must eat for the rest of my life. People who are recovering drug addicts or alcoholics stay that way by living very structered and ordered lives. This is how I will have to approach my life with food. I write down everything, what I eat, the supplements I take. I keep check lists and check things off as I go. I have to be able to quickly recall what I ate at the end of a day or else I think I ate too much. The only thing I don't moniter is water. I just drink it, and drink it, and drink it. Its difficult now because it is not yet habit. But I will keep going until it is. Until its no longer just a hint of collar bone....but more.
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