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FattyMcFatterson
Hey... so I'm not strictly speaking "ana" or maybe I am... I don't know. I have patterns I suppose I find great comfort in thinspirational things and sights like this... this is the first time I've actually come out of the woodwork though to introduce myself. I'm not "trying" to be ana, I don't "want" to be... but these patterns I've adopted... well, they make me feel safe and secure and I'm not ready to stop them or talk about them to anyone except for people who understand... maybe it's just a phase, maybe I'm clearing a blockage so to speak, but the bottom line, I suppose, is that these patterns are the same ones as you guys here and without them, or if I fail them, or if they're not possible because of people being around and noticing etc I feel this hideous sense of... like "homesickness" (even though I'm at home!) I need your help to do this right because the only way to stop that homesickness is by winning. My goal weight is 100lb which currently looks like a massive long shot considering I weight a whopping 132... oh my gosh that was really embarrassing... just before Christmas though I was probably about 155lb or so... then I got ill and was being sick... and then the line just got thin as to whether I really did feel sick or if I was making myself be sick... then I was actively doing it to myself, but, well it's kinda gross and it was drawing attention so now I turn to cutting right down. On a good day I'll have about 200 calories and on a bad day, about 1200... god I feel awful saying that... :s So anyway... guess I'm coming aboard because I need the support of people who understand. In turn I want to offer support too... but bear with me because as I'm the fattest person here I'll probably be jealous for a while :'( Here goes SAY HELLO!
Latest page update: Aug 3 2009, 4:08 PM EDT
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