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Seeking_Perfection
Abbie </3 Who is she? I dont know anymore. Shes Wasting away. See her:
AboutMe: 99% of the time, its me aginst the world. Sure I have friends, but they don't understand me. Nobody does. I have and do suffer from chronic depression. Yep thats me, The Emo girl. Labelled most of my life. I'm 5 foot 5 with shoulder length brown/black hair, Very dark brown, almost black, eyes, a straight nose, big eyes, long eyelashes. I love makeup and couldn't go a day with my eyeliner. I'm 15 and I live in Cornwall, South-west England. I currently weigh in at 128bs, my initial goal is 120 lbs, then 100lbs and my then 95lbs. Help Me Get There please and I'll do what I can in return! I go into severe depression about 2 times a month. My friends don't know about my depression, I try to keep that to myself, because as much as people say ana will take your friends, Im trying my hardest to keep onto them, until I absoloutley have to let go, because they are hindering my progress, so I don't want them to feel insecure about me, or constantly being worried and watching me.It's easier this way. I Hate my life, everything about me but most of all my body. I hurt myself and I will probably make add to my threads of telling people how Sh!t my life is. No one has to watch these threads or read them or tell me to stop writing sh!t because nobody cares etc. Its my only outet. I have to get it out before it eats at me from the inside out. Because it will, it will help keep me alive as I have had 2 failed suicide attempts in the last 18 months. When my life gets Sh!tt, It gets really Sh!tt. It's one friggin thing after another. I don't mind talking to people about my attempts if it will stop them from doing the same. I am over the worst of it and my Dr. recomends talking about it, ( although I refuse to see a psychatrist). It is the worst feeling in the world. Worse than all the self harm. Worse than Being cut off from everybody you love. Waking up to find that you have failed again at something, to learn that you are still alive, still in the Sh!t situation ( if not a worse one) that you were in when you did it. It's taken alot of courage to put this out for anyone to read, please respect it, it's the first time I have just put it out there. xx MyMusic: I listen to a lot of music for inspiration. I play the clarinet and the drums, and write alot of songs. My music gives me motivation to get up and do some excercise or to just sit and think about lyrics and my life. ( Again labelled the Emo child.) I listen loads of bands like Good charlotte, Avril Lavigne, Metalica, My Chemical Romance,AC DC, Iron Maiden, Led Zepplin, Blink 182, Bowling For Soup, Evanescence, Enter Shakari, Korn Bullet for my valentine, 30 seconds to mars... You get the point. Mainly Punk, Rock, And metal. Next time pull the trigger a little faster, Make the rope a little tighter, and cut alittle deeper. No one will miss you here, so no worries... <3 I did have a weight chart up, but I had a breakdown and couldn't face the scales. I will try and get one back up as soon as I can, and when I know I can stick with it to complete it. Sorry, I really hate leaving things half finished. Thinspiration ]  ![[Untitled]](http://image.wetpaint.com/image/1/mA001-yXSSPFclfE3hKwXg57961/GW522H230 "[Untitled]") .         My Body. My Life. My Choice. Hey! Thanks for looking at my page, leave me a comment, send me a message or even better, Compliments would be appreciated! <3 Eat less, weigh less, fail less, feel less. Ultimate Goal: Survival These are two really great songs I love to listen to for Different reasons. The first 9 Crimes by Damien Rice makes me think about stuff in general, makes me alittle sad, but hey I spend most of my nlife being sad, why not do it to some tunes? The second is someone I once knew by Dead Celebrity Status, I love the pictures in this Video and it has some banging lyrics, if you take a mo to listen tot hem. I shutup now, and I hope you liked my page ( : Much Love from me xxx
Latest page update: Dec 9 2009, 12:37 PM EST
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