Hi, I'm Katie I'm 17, live in the UK and am currently in 6th form.
So here's a bit about me: I'm not entierly sure how this started for me. I feel awful when i read about girls who've had such hard lives, and their ED's have developed as a result of that, but its completely different for me. I come from a well off family, my parents are together and happy, i go to a good school, have reasonably good friends. I think the reason this developed for me was how perfectionistic i am. People always told me i was smart and had such high expectations, that i didn't want to dissapoint them. I was trying so hard to be perfect, so i started dieting. I then found out about pro ana sites and starting listening to the tips and tricks to loose mroe weight. Soon enough i was exercising constantly, hiding food and lieing to everyone. I was scaring myself. I didn't know why i was doing this and thought it was just a phase. But it just got worse. I soon began to love it. The feeling of being hungry, the control, the sense of achievement everytime i reached a goal. So i started loosing faster. I only lost a stone in about 4 months since my ED developed, and i didn't look any different. Well in my opinion. Even though people told me i was loosing weight, i was so skinny, i didn't see it. I hit a plato at 100lbs and even though i fasted for 4 days i couldn't break it, so i'd break and binge. I hated the guilt and figured out how to purge to compensate. But it got way out of control and within a few months i was fully bulimic. And i've been that way ever since.
I hate being bulimic. I felt so out of control. It's made completing school work so difficult because it takes up so much time On averge i b/p 3 times a day but i've hada days where its been much worse. Its really taking effect on my body and i've had times where i've been too afraid to go to sleep incase i don't wake up. I started abusing diet pills and OD badly on them after my nan died. I started self harming. Basically mia has ruined my life. I need ana back, however messed up that sounds. And i'm getting there. I'm getting the control back and i'm starting to loose again. I need to get down to 84 before i start uni and i need straight As. I'm going to be better. I have to be.
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I know exactly where you are coming from about mia. I became totally OCD about b/p. It takes away control. Ana is the definition of control, you feel alive.
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