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Discussion: Dillema....
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twiggy7425 |
Dillemma....
Sep 18 2009, 12:04 PM EDT
| Post edited: Sep 18 2009, 12:19 PM EDT
So lets say you have had this ed for years now. Its consumed you. You have lost friends, family and you fail to live up to your true potential because all that goes through your mind is: food, excersise, laxatives, food, bones etc. You bounce back and forth from not eating at all to eating un controllably... you have discovered bulimia and this is at first the best thing thats ever happend you can TASTE food again... soon you dont have the power to choose your binges they choose you. and now you realize this is the worst thing. You expiriement with your old ways of abstenence but bulimia always marches in to take control now your lost having an affair being pulled in 2 different directions by two different eds. You think that being 5'7 and weighing 93lbs is overweight and think that this is normal... You have reached a point where you are given small tastes of life, true fun life, like how it used to be when you were a kid. carefree. fun. you are teased by this and come to realize that you want it ... you want so bad to think of things other than this stupid ed. you want to get up in the morning and have a day of activities and goals to COMPLETE.... instead of rules and guidelines. You have had a glimpse of how Great you can be. What you are capable of and its in reach now.... however, ED has a firm grab and is pulling you back into her darkness. You fight, you give up, you fight for your trueself, maybe gain 1lb freak out and Bam... just like that your back completely cradled in eds arms. What do you do? What do I do? I have had enough of this I want to go back to my LIFE..... i want help. But on the other hand I want no help at all, iwant no more weight at all ... I have a love hate realationship with my ed. I use it abuse it and wont let it go. So please, share your stories, your realationship and where your at. Much Love Do you find this valuable? |
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